


This Isn't Forever

by Lovekiku



Category: Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grieving, Hop is 15 in the beginning, Hop is 25 at the end, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mourning, Raihop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:28:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23021719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovekiku/pseuds/Lovekiku
Summary: Hop never understood a true loss until today…
Relationships: Hop/Kibana | Raihan
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	This Isn't Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a real event that has recently taken place...

In the calm town of Postwick, the sun was shining beautifully over the horizon, painting the lush green fields a soft orange. The sky was a bright red as the day slowly began to turn into evening. Hop had been on his way home from the Pokemon Lab, making his way down the road in a tired but determined pace. The breeze blew gently on him as he walked, reading the texts that had been sent to him. 

Panic immediately filled his body at his most recent message, and he bolted into a sprint. 

For the past few months, his family had been on edge. His grandfather had been growing weaker for the past few years, finding difficulty in walking and speaking. It was hard for the poor man to even communicate with any of his family members anymore. The doctors came often to check up on him, but it hadn’t looked good. Eventually, it became known that there wouldn’t be much time left for him, and everyone grew disheartened.

Hop took the news well. He wasn’t happy about it, but he took it well. He continued to go to work everyday, knowing his mother and grandmother were home to let him know if anything came up. He made sure to greet his grandfather every morning when leaving for work, and again when he’d get back home. If anything, Hop did what he could to fill the room with happiness whenever he was there.

His grandfather would listen, laugh, and smile at the boy as he talked. Hop would watch television with the man once it came to the point of requiring a hospital bed, and would keep the man company to give his mother and grandmother a break. The poor women would be exhausted by the time he came home, and in general the mood of the household continued growing somber as each day passed by. With each day, his grandfather’s condition worsened.

Hop took everything in stride, understanding that this was a part of life. Becoming a Pokemon Professor meant having to understand the cycles of life and all parts of it- life and death included. He’d lost family members before, though they weren’t close. In those times, he never cried. If anything, he’d only feel like crying because of the way the rest of his family would react. However, he made sure never to do so.

In times like those, he noticed that Leon never cried. Leon would remain stone-faced and merely hug his family members when they needed the shoulder to cry on. Not one tear would fall from his older brother’s cheeks. Whether it was a funeral, the time of death, or anything else that was just as painful to bear witness to- Leon never cried. Hop would always feel tears filling his eyes at the sights of people in pain, but he would force them down. He’d never let them spill until he was out of everyone else’s vision. He wanted to be strong for others, too, just like his brother. His mother and brother would always ask him if he was okay, if he needed to let it out but he’d deny them. He wasn’t the one who needed it, it was always someone else. 

Hop would be able to be strong.

They were told six months. They were told by the doctors that his grandfather wouldn’t likely make it to the end of the year. The news hit his mother hard. She’d stay at his side everyday, making sure she could do what she could to get the poor man to eat, despite having to be on a liquid diet. Hop made a point of letting her rest whenever he came home, having to comfort his grandmother in addition to caring for his grandfather. He needed to be strong for them both, especially when Leon couldn’t be there due to running the Battle Tower. 

Nothing got better. While he did his best to keep everyone’s spirits up, everyone knew what was coming. They knew that even though they were told 6 months, his grandfather’s condition was getting worse by the second. Family from far away would come to visit, try to say their goodbyes, and comfort his mother and grandmother whenever necessary. Leon made a point of stopping home more often to check on things, but the upcoming result was going to be the same no matter what. 

Hop sprinted as fast as he could down the road. He was going to make it. It was still so early, not even half of the six months had passed. The pain in his legs was beginning to catch up to him. The length of the hill he had to climb felt long and difficult the harder he tried to push himself. Reaching the front door of his house, he practically yanked it open and threw himself inside. 

“Grandpa-!?” he started, but froze.

Taking in the sight before him, the older man had been still. His mother and grandmother were weeping endlessly into his shoulder or belly. Their cries echoed through the room as the world began to turn black and white in his eyes. He looked between their heads as their bodies shook with each sob, before looking at his grandfather’s face. His grandfather looked so peaceful and relaxed. It was if nothing had been wrong in the first place, but taking in the rest of the scene, Hop knew better.

He couldn’t move. All he could do was watch and listen as everything else around him all but disappeared. His body was numb, his breathing hitched as he made an attempt to step forward. He couldn’t stop himself from stumbling, but made his way over to the hospice bed eventually. His hand at some point reached for his mother’s back, and upon touching her, he almost fell back as she practically tackled him and wailed into his shoulders. Despite the numbness in his skin, the buzzing in his mind, and the tears soaking his shirt, all he could do was pat her on the back gently.

He still didn’t cry.

Hop went into work the next day, despite everything. Leon was coming home to help with things, and Hop didn’t know much about planning for services and a funeral. He’d basically be useless. His mother worried about him and told him to just ask Sonia for the day off if he needed it, but he refused. This wasn’t about him, he figured. It was more important that his mother and grandmother took the time to grieve, along with Leon who hadn’t been there at the time. Leon, however, still remained strong and stone-faced about it as usual. Hop could do it, too.

Upon entering the Pokemon Lab, though, he walked past Sonia and went straight to his desk. Pokemon books in hand, he opened one up and began reading and taking notes for a project he was currently working on. The red-headed professor watched him worriedly, but didn’t comment on anything as the boy continued to work. She wanted to tell him to go home, but she knew how stubborn Hop was. Texting Leon, she went back to work and only called on him when she absolutely needed it.

Hours passed by before Hop realized that the day had ended and he needed to go home. He left the lab quietly, refusing to meet Sonia’s gaze despite her efforts to comfort him. Hop didn’t need comforting. He was stronger than that. 

Hop’s dealt with loss before. This was another and he just needed to be strong for the ones who were truly hurting.

On his way home, however, he looked through his social media. His mother must have made the time to post, having tagged him and Leon in it. The post was a tribute to his grandfather, describing him as a loving and caring man who took care of many people. Hop looked to see that there were many comments wishing the best for their family and many apologies for the loss. His mother had put pictures of their grandfather on the post, showing many different family members with their grandfather.

On the one that was taken of himself and his grandfather, Hop couldn’t hold it in anymore.

This man had been with him since he was born. This man that was smiling so happily while holding him as a baby was gone. In his last few months with them, his grandfather couldn’t even try to smile, let alone talk to them about anything he needed. The older man couldn’t form even the smallest words on the day that Hop left for the Pokemon Lab. 

The tears finally fell as he looked at the pictures his mother had apparently taken that day of his grandfather and grandmother crying. Apparently, his grandmother had broken down just before his time came, and the picture showed so much of that pain that Hop couldn’t stop himself anymore.

In the middle of the road between Wedgehurst and Postwick, Hop’s tears flowed down his cheeks like waterfalls. His sobs became loud and he had to cover his mouth to keep himself together. He couldn’t do it anymore and he couldn’t understand why. 

Sure, his grandfather had been there his whole life, but they hadn’t talked that much or seen each other as often until Hop had to start helping take care of the old man. They had their moments together where they’d make each other laugh, but this pain he felt hurt so badly and he couldn’t comprehend it. He couldn’t hold in anything anymore as he looked through pictures of his grandfather and saw everything the man had been through with him.

He just wanted to be strong, just like Leon… But he’d never felt a loss like this before.

“Hop?”

Hop turned around in horror to see Raihan standing a few feet away from him. Tears were still running down his face and he covered it with his hand as much as he could. The dragon gym leader watched him sadly before walking over and taking the shorter boy into his arms.

This wasn’t unusual. They’d been dating for a while now. Everyone in the family knew it, and completely supported it when they saw how well the gym leader took care of Hop. Even Hop’s grandfather had expressed that if his little ‘Hoppip’ had been happy, then he was, too.

“W-What’re you doing here…?” Hop asked, trying to stop his sobbing.

“... Figured you’d need some comforting” Raihan said, and Hop shook his head into the other’s chest.

“I-I’m fine…!” he said, his sobs betraying him. “This… I… I never even knew him that well, I just…”

Raihan still held onto the other boy, rubbing small circles into his back. He leaned down to kiss the boy’s head before tightening his embrace. Against his wishes, Hop’s tears fell harder and his body began to shake with each sob that escaped his throat. 

“It’s not about knowing him, Hop” Raihan said. “You loved him, too…”

“I never cry in situations like this, Rai…!” Hop said, clutching the other’s sweater in his fist. “I never cry over this! I… I’m usually strong enough not to! ... Like Lee…” 

Raihan sighed heavily, and Hop could tell that tears were forming in the dragon trainer’s eyes, too.

“Your brother… has cried before, Hop…” Raihan said. “You were too young to have understood, but… When your father passed, Leon… took it very hard”

Hop’s breathing began to slow over hearing this. He had been really young when their father passed away. He never even met the man.

“Back then, you didn’t cry, even though you were just a baby…” Raihan explained. “Leon… cried for weeks, without anyone else knowing”

Hop’s sobs began to cease and the tears were slowly beginning to dry. Looking up at Raihan, the taller man wiped the boy’s soft cheeks and smiled gently.

“... But everytime he saw you, he’d feel better” Raihan explained. “It was the first real loss Leon ever had to deal with, and from then on, he knew he had to be strong for you…”

Tears were forming in his eyes again at the thought of Leon forcing himself to be strong for his sake, but Raihan leaned down and kissed them away.

“You may be right. Maybe you don’t normally cry in situations like this” Raihan said, taking a deep breath. “... But I think this… is the first time you’ve ever really lost something, even though you don’t know it”

Hops sniffled.

“Maybe other people are hurting more than you are, but hurt is still hurt, Hop” Raihan explained, pulling the younger boy back into him and letting Hop lean his face against his shoulder. “... And even the strongest people need to cry, too. But don’t worry okay? These feelings and pain that you’re feeling, they won’t last… So cry if you need to...”

And cry he did. For hours in the middle of the road between Postwick and Wedgehurst. 

“Just remember… This isn’t _forever_...”

It was dark by the time that Raihan walked him home, to the comforting embraces of his mother, grandmother, and Leon. Hop didn’t cry, though. He had no more tears to shed after he let loose on Raihan. But he was thankful for his loving boyfriend, for being there. For letting him express his own feelings. 

It was as Raihan said, Hop never really knew what a true loss was. But after letting the tears finally fall, Hop felt things could at least get better. The two of them made a point of visiting his grandfather’s grave every year from then on. The pain stung every time they went, but as the years continued Hop could feel the pain hurting less and less. Time eventually heals all wounds, especially the first scars.

They would still be there, no matter how much time passed. But they couldn’t hurt forever.

Years later, when Hop and his adopted daughter stopped by the grave to visit his grandparents, his daughter noticed that some tears were falling down her father’s cheeks.

“What’s wrong, papa?” she’d ask him.

He wiped his tears away gently and held her close.

“Don’t worry about me, sweetheart” he said softly. “Just remembering the pain I felt when… When your great grandfather passed away”

“... It hurts for that long?” she asked him meekly, and Hop shook his head.

“It will hurt just a little, but it won’t be as bad as the first time Daddy’s cried…” he explained. “I want you to know something that Daddy had to learn from your father, okay?”

“What?” she asked him.

“Pain and loss... You’ll only ever understand it when it happens to you” he explains. “It will hurt. Sometimes, you won’t understand why it hurts then, but… it will”

She listened carefully.

“But one thing to remember is that those painful feelings, the tears you cry at that time” he started. “They won’t last forever… You will heal, and sometimes the scars you receive then will open at times…”

He wiped his tears away again before looking at the grave.

“But always remember to tell yourself this, okay? And you’ll feel better” 

She listened for the words.

“ _This isn’t forever_ ” he said.

“... This… isn’t forever” she said to herself, before looking at the graves again. “This isn’t forever…”

“... That’s my girl”

**Author's Note:**

> I really needed a way to comfort myself after a big event in my life has taken place. I hope this isn't completely terrible, but after writing it I'm beginning to feel a little better about things...
> 
> Kudos and comments appreciated. Thank you


End file.
